The Theory of Love


Can love be explained?

Probably not. As a matter of fact, if you can explain it, it is a guarantee that what is being described isn’t love–but rather a theory of love. Love in the higher form transcends our limited understanding and goes far beyond the restrictions of human imagination.

Sounds familiar?

It should.

That same argument is also commonly spoken when one attempts to describe “God.” If you can describe it, it isn’t God.

The same holds true for any aspect of the transcendental consciousness that purely exists beyond the reach of limited concepts. If you can describe it, it isn’t Tao.

“Beloved, love one another for love is of God.”

God is love.

We can say this, but what does that truly mean?

Regardless of the ineffable qualities of the subject at hand, we still should look at love, seek out its depth, and ponder the implications.

Love is not a possession. Love is not a goal. Love is not fixation on what we want. Love is not the same as an obsession.

Love can be an attraction. Yet love is also the joyous freedom one might find within the heart of a child that is expansive as the clear blue sky.

Love is a pure aspect of the divine infinite.

Can that be proven scientifically? No.

Can most spiritual matters be proven scientifically? Not at this point; and very likely it will never be proven in that manner. That idea often defeats the purpose of developing faith. We cannot control the unknown. We can only adjust our view–our way of coping and residing within the unknown–in order to find an essential space for glimpsing a larger reality in regard to the human experience of life.

Does proving love or spirituality through scientific means matter? No. Why should it?

Science helps where it helps. I love science. But not everything needs to be relentlessly “proven” as being a fact. Some things do not fit neatly into scientific boxes, just like not all things fit neatly into religious boxes. One is much like the other; and both can be dogmatic.

I say that only because there are things that we do not understand presently that will at some later date, be clearly understood scientifically or clearly known within an intimate spiritual human experience. And that sounds familiar because it is reminiscent of what the Apostle Paul said in the Bible 1st Corinthians which is a dissertation on the supreme qualities of love.

Paul mentioned that presently we may not understand much about anything–particularly about our own self, our place in the world, and our humanly divine experience. What we know of our self and of life is likened to a reflection in a mirror. We know it but can’t see it for mistaking the image for realty. Yet in the future–near or far–we may find with great effort that we reach a place were we do understand fully and can see past the reflection into absolute truth.

Science has specific rules for the way it works as a process. And sometimes the rules themselves exclude emotions and things that are not tangible in the workings of how human beings operate or exist.

Science will never be able to adequately describe love. At best, science can only see neurons firing when someone feels something, or may show what area of the brain is stimulated by it.

Love is far more important to be so narrowly defined anyway. And for those who feel that is all there is, I am sorry for you. And I will explain that in a sense. What we think of the experience of life becomes our life.

A very interesting subject.

But let’s talk of love. Love is messy and beyond priceless. It is perfect chaos within divinely imperfect humanity. It is the thing that gives our lives meaning.

Love is said to be an emotion. And emotions are a language that must be understood through the mind by interpreting what we “feel” through the heart–the emotional center. And what we feel surfaces or floats up from our emotional center to the mind; and is experienced and witnessed by our mind as emotion. And this same emotion is based in the deepest being–the unlimited infinite soul being–that spontanioisly speaks a language that is meant to decipher the subtleties of our experiences as they rise up to our conscious awareness as we individually encounter the results of cause and effect.

We react to what we feel or we respond to what we feel.

Reaction is instinctual and immediate, without the luxury of being able to reflect or make a conscious choice about how one will respond. It’s a kneejerk reaction–a trigger. Responding is based in a more centered understanding of the situation, regardless of feelings. The difference is awareness. When we are not aware of the language of emotions, we react every time we “feel” something as if the feeling is real. We react as if an insult really hurts us or is a real threat. There really is a certain uniquely personal science to emotional literacy.

So love is considered to be an emotion. But is it really?

Yes. It is. But it’s obviously far more than what we give it credit for being.

Love is as mystical of a quality as anything we could understand of the divine. It attracts us to those who become part of our lives. It holds us in a bond of mysterious illusive communion. We seek it out like honey.  And there are levels and forms, a diverse array of unfathomable expansions on the feeling that is rooted in what we consider humanity’s finest attribute.

We fall in love. We love our family. We love friends. We love people sometimes we don’t even like. We can be overwhelmed by ineffable feelings of love in regard to the spiritual, and the wonderstruck experience of life being beautiful.

Yet true love is inseparable with compassion. True love makes us better people.

Love is an innate quality. And some religious sects might argue strongly that love isn’t innate; rather that people are inherently evil.

The flaw with that philosophy is that if one considers him or her self to be inherently evil, then one will never have the capacity to move forward from that rigid idea. The idea of being evil condemns a person to a narrow-minded torturous concept that can only trap the mind and emotions into a non-negotiable tiny merciless box that has no potential for escape.

How can one escape from actually being darkness itself? That idea does not give room for light to exist in the same place.

Calling on God or Highest Mind would not help a person such as this. And I say that because how could a person thinking that their source is being at one with the depths of hell ever be able to elevate that same mind enough to reach out to a separate God to be saved? Could it happen? I am not sure it could because I don’t feel anyone who thought they were evil to that degree could actually accept  help or intercession from anything or anyone–particularly from the source of all that is good. And how could we “be” the quintessence of evil and have a higher aspect of mind that is anything other than evil too? To think one is evil is to think that one is unsalvageable. No one is un-savable. But our minds have to open to being accessible to transformation. How we think can stand between what will heal us.

The reason being is that if “I” thought resolutely that I was evil in my original state of existence, that “I” was born out of a darkness rather than light, then “I” could only call for outside intercession to become something other than what I think I am. And the problem with that is how could “I” coming from the idea of being evil allow what I think of as evil to find freedom in pure being and pure light?

In this scenario, our unrelenting mindset would be preprogramed to condemn and punish evil which is our self. We have made our own person our worst enemy and enemies do what they do. And on that premise, we would most likely eagerly punish our own separate evil “self” by maintaining this same viewpoint continuiously and unceasingly of condemnation, inflicting an unnecessary relentless cyclic eternity of self-punishment and self-hatred for the mere idea not being divinely pure in the first place. We can think our way into hell very easily.

It is the ultimate in dualistic thinking. One who thinks them self as evil has completely severed the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual aspect of balanced interior communion of the imperfect weakness of being human and inherently perfect divine. The paradox needs the space in our mind to be made seamlessly whole.

Anything else is schismed thinking. Being broken apart this way only lends to the concretely negative and horribly destructive attitude of “Evil = Me as a Human Being” and “Good = God as the Infinite Omnipotent Other.” And when things are so solidly opposite, reconciliation doesn’t happen easily. Does that make sense?

In order to be good, one must think one self is at least carrying the potential for good. It’s even better if one can truly embrace the inner vision of being Christ-like and having a potential to be brilliantly filled with all the goodness of God. Of course, we must follow through on that vision to be compassion embodied, which takes effort.

The same is true for love.

To love anyone else, we must love our own self.

Only love begets love.

How we think of our own personal self within our own mind–our self identity, our labeling of our self, the stories we tell our own self everyday about who we are that aren’t necessarily true–these mental habits constrain us to a point of miserable slavery or set us free to be wisdom, love and truth embodied. The way we think equates to heaven or hell within our own person and anything in between. And often we think we are at the mercy of a merciless world, when in truth a great deal of our demanding reoccurring negative issues are our mental and emotional programing playing itself out over and over again.

But what about love specifically?

If one truly wants love, we have to root around in our own messy deep darkness. We must face our fears as a human being to find our way.

Love is about being good to one another. Love is about allowing something splendidly desired to enter our life, which also makes us feel totally and completely vulnerable. Love is vulnerability because if we love we will feel pain. And that vulnerability is why most people are afraid to love. We are afraid of what will bring us the most joy because it will also bring us pain. Yet the pain of love is not the same as the pain of never allowing the heart to open. One is the fullness of a life well lived. One is the emptiness of a life avoided and shunned because of the fear of pain–the fear of fear.

There is always suffering in the world. Suffering is a result of cause and effect. What we think, say and do does have ramifications. A choice leads to a result. And a choice can be made even when we don’t want to make a choice. Not making a choice is a choice. So we cannot avoid cause and effect. We can try to rise to meet it fully by living well. We can become aware of how that process of works.

Developing a sense of compassion is the best way to navigate through life. To me, compassion is not pity. Pity is viewing someone else looking down from a distance. Compassion includes empathy for others–being able to feel genuine concern for someone else. In essence, compassion is a combination of love, wisdom, and effort to lean in, open our heart and help others. Often our egotistical inclination is the opposite. Our shroud of ego habits demand we protect ourself first, close our hearts so we cannot be hurt, leave others to fend for themselves because they are “other” than “us.”

Love destroys concepts of “Us” and “Them.” Love is unified, courageously open, and fearlessly free.

It is true that love is only for the brave at heart.

If you want another person to love you, you must learn to love yourself. But do not confuse being perfect with love. Love is messy. Love has nothing to do with uptight ideas of human perfection, which are a complete deception anyway. God’s perfection has to do with highest love and mercy; it has nothing to do with what human beings consider perfect. Our ideas of perfection are usually based in being seen as acceptable in the sight of others. That has nothing to do with love.

So we start there. We start by recognizing our own destructive habits.

How do we think about ourselves? Is it always critical? If so, then we begin to change the bad habits by recognizing them as something that needs to change. We start by living our lives in simple ways in order to be more compassionate toward our own mind, our own bodies, our emotions. Our compassion will flow forward. Our love will flow forward. And such will our new world become.

Love does not have to be perfect to be priceless. We all have it in us somewhere.

Love is always good–regardless of where we are in the moment.

We are broken people. And that is a good place to find love–amist brokenness. Love can come flowing like light through the cracks where our false ideas of perfection were smashed apart.

If we can find the mercy we need to forgive our own insufficiencies, forgive what we perceive as our faults, we can do that for anyone. It only takes love. Call upon its power.

And there are no rules to anything when it comes to love–except for compassion. Love is compassionate. A true love can be a friend that encourages us, a person we admire who inspires us, a dog who loves us unconditionally, a child who’s laughter brings us breathless supreme joy.

And if you can’t feel those things like I just said, it may mean there are walls around your heart that have come into being through habits of defensiveness. Let the walls drop.

Love is not an easy path, but it is the best and most rewarding joyful existence one can have. It is tapping into the divine and allowing that truth to shine out into a darkened world. It is a unifying truth of being interconnected with all that is alive and gloriously whole.

My theory of love is that love exists infinitely within everyone whether everyone believes that or not.

To embrace the concept of innate eternal indestructible love, one finds an unequaled power flowing through what we perceive as life, which not only gives us authority, but pure potential to transform our experience of existence from the inside outward. Our world is bound to be shaped and recreated into paradise when our foundation is based in such a thing as unequaled genuine love, even without fully understanding what that means in its entirety.

Love speaks for itself. And love heals immaculately.

Love is always the answer.


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