The Useless & Confusing Nature of Guilt


Guilt (emotion)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person believes or realizes—accurately or not—that he or she has compromised his or her own standards of conduct or has violated a moral standard and bears significant responsibility for that violation.[1] It is closely related to the concept of remorse.

guilt |



the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, especially against moral or penal law; culpability:

He admitted his guilt.


a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.


conduct involving the commission of such crimes, wrongs, etc.:

to live a life of guilt.
verb (used with object), Informal.


to cause to feel guilty(often followed by out or into):

She totally guilted me out, dude. He guilted me into picking up the tab.
See also guilt-trip.

The Useless & Confusing Nature of Guilt

The two definitions above are the common ideas of what guilt means. Yes, one can be found guilty of a crime and one can live the proverbial “life of assigned guilt” by the narrow minded views of society. However, what I would like to explore is the nature of guilt within our individual psyche and how destructively confusing, energetically wasteful and useless it is. Based on my personal experience, there are far too many people walking around mistakenly thinking or believing within a distorted religious format that guilt is some sort of a virtue that helps a person make positive decisions. It is not.
So what do I know about guilt?
Guilt is an ingrained pattern of thinking based in an insecure fear-based concept of self-hatred. Self-hatred or self-loathing is not a guidance system. The idea of guilt overwhelms the inner positive qualities that help us navigate life in a trustworthy, reasonably peaceful manner that is practical, compassionate and wise. When we are able to access our inner wisdom, we make positive decisions. When we allow ourselves to be guided by guilt, we resist our own inner positive nature, centered in wisdom, and rather lean upon suspicion and lack of trust. We do this because we don’t trust our own self as being able to make good decisions, which makes us even more reactive and unstable. In guilt, we habitually shift our focus from higher innate truth, toward small distorted ingrained ideas based in insecurity, fear, lack of self-esteem, false identity and deception. It is extremely confusing to think that way. It divides us from our higher-self, our indwelling Christ, our wisdom center. The use of the delusion of guilt and other distorted negative false beliefs systems as a method to navigate through life–accepting any hateful ideas that tell us we are “less than” and “inherently evil”–will always be unreliable at best because they are a cause of schismed thinking that is destructively detrimental and guaranteed to bring great suffering.
No one is less. No one is more. All are equally precious and sacred. In that forum, guilt cannot exist. There is no room for it.
If we hurt someone’s feelings or do harm to someone else, real or imagined, it is not guilt that guides us to make things right. It is love and compassion. It is integrity. It is the desire to be a better human being.
Regret should only be a moment of reflection that brings us to rectify past wrongs in the higher minded manner of bringing about healing, reconciliation and release. Regret is not useful other than that. And regret and remorse are not the same as guilt. If we think of them the same way, then we need to adjust our own awareness of how we are thinking to understand who we are in truth. Regret and remorse are feelings directly in relation to the past that can be resolved with positive effort. We cannot live in the past. We can understand it, forgive and move on. We also cannot live in the future thinking of how we are going to screw things up. Not a healthy point of view either. We should live in the present moment with deliberate awareness and do the best we can with what we have.
Guilt is a way of seeing everything as being our fault. Guilty people are easy to manipulate. And people who cannot shed the false burden of guilt are frustrated, confused, stagnated and despairing people who seem to really only want to be beautiful lights of love and compassion in a world of darkness. The ensnared “Guilty” souls have yet to figure out how to be that light. These people are usually sensitive, empathically connected and sympathetic to the needs of those around them, and would genuinely like to help others, but feel they cannot without failure or fault. They ruin their own joy by not being able to realize–or accept as truth–that at the core of who they are they are already dazzlingly in the divine sense of perfection. So stop trying to be humanly perfect–because that is not ever going to happen–and embrace the expansive mysteriously divine forgiving perfection hidden within the messiness of our own being and in all life.
Let me share a little fairytale story to further explain.

Butterfly the Free

Once upon a time, there was a young girl who was taught that she was not worthy. Although she was perfect in everyway–intelligent, compassionate, joyful and loving–she was taught something all together differently about who she was. Throughout her childhood she was told by her parents through words and actions that she was not good enough, nor lovable. She was repeatedly told she was stupid, and inferior because she was female. She was regularly yelled at, and sternly told that she was irritating and annoying to be around, a financial burden to everyone, and that her presence–truth be told–was not wanted or appreciated. Now even though children all through the ages are unfortunately taught false detrimental ideas by unpleasant ignorant parents, family and social structures about of who they are at a young age, this particular little girl for whatever mysterious reason decided that those words–those hateful ideas forced upon her–were in fact not true.
As she grew into adulthood, this beautiful little girl resisted the cruelness of what she had heard and witnessed through her life so far. Yet even though she resisted, those horrible voices went everywhere with her in her own mind, as we all carry forth our abusers, belittlers and naysayers until we pull them out by the roots. In essence, during this part of her life, the voices won. But the voices only were victorious over her life until things became so dark that she was forced to face her greatest fears or die. And as a spoiler alert, she eventually broke forth from her past, and sloughed off the nasty burden of what was said and done to her. And she became like a brand new being made of indestructible light–a new creature dedicated to life and truth.
For most of her life the girl, we will call her Butterfly the Free, was greatly troubled by what she felt within her mind and emotions. It made her insecure and frightened of everything, particularly good things like love, success, prosperity and respect. No matter what she did, Butterfly felt surely she was not good enough. She felt guilty for everything, even good things. When she spoke up to someone in truth–a necessary essential truth–she constantly apologized. Somehow Butterfly felt that her truth was a burden that no one else could handle. She projected some imagined false sense of harm in an exaggerated delusional idea that even when she was being honest and sincere that it was bad or even evil to discomfort others emotionally or mentally. She didn’t seem to understand that we are all responsible for our own inner negative emotional and mental baggage, because we carry it around and inflict it on others if we don’t seek to understand it and embrace our own unique healing process. We cannot be responsible for everyone else’s comfort. We can however be kind, compassionate and helpful. But in order to really help others, we have to help ourselves by working out our own conflicting issues.
Inflicting our inner garbage onto others makes life bad for everyone. On the contrary, being compassionately honest, ethical, having self-esteem and self respect will inevitably make things better for everyone in the higher idea of living a non-harmful life, despite the conflict it might bring. We cannot avoid conflict. Conflict is part of life as a human being. Feeling interior emotional and mental discomfort is a valid part of spiritual growth, which we all need to learn how to cope with in order to become better, more emotionally literate people. Emotionally literate people have a much better skills that can insure having healthy, positive, happier relationships. So Butterfly chronically apologized because she was afraid that what she said would offend whoever she was communicating with and cause a conflict. And she feared conflict. She feared offending others. She felt that conflict would ultimately result in rejection. Hostility and rejection was her greatest fear. Hostility and rejection had been her life experience so far.
Hostility and rejection leads to isolation. And isolation is a lonely place for one who treasures love. And we all treasure being loved and being able to love on some level.
Butterfly was so unsure of herself that when she spoke truth, she was immediately afraid of rejection, which made her a reactionary insecure mess. She felt guilty for making others uncomfortable, even when that other was a raging jackass. She let guilt consume her life. Every decision she made, even if she knew for sure it was the right and ethical decision, was accompanied by feelings of guilt. If she actually made a mistake, it was unforgiveable in her own mind. And everyone makes mistakes, so she was doomed to struggle with depression because of how she thought about herself. Because of this, she strived so desperately to be perfect, to live up to some unrealistic idea of human perfection that would appease the hateful parental voices in her mind and make them finally proud enough to be silent forever more. And that really is a fairytale. One that will never-ever-ever have a happy ending. Yet, Butterfly does have her happy future regardless.
Appeasing the voices of abuse is impossible. There are people, both real and imagined, that will never be appeased by anything or anyone. So don’t try. There are many people who have learned to use guilt to manipulate others quite effectively. And this is not a good thing on either side of the equation. Manipulating others is a no-no. And on the other hand, do not try to live up to the flighty fleeting irrational pissy unrelenting standards set by the voices of the ugly abusers in our own heads. No one can validate our worth, but our selves. We have to find love for our self within our self, and then work ongoing to live life within our own concept of what’s right, compassionate and good for the sake of our sanity and happiness. We must break free of the delusional habit of needing approval and validation. We must get to the point where we can authentically feel and declare, “Who cares what other people think about me! I am the only one who needs to feel good about what I am, what I think and what I do!”
Butterfly the Free, before she was free, felt guilty for everything good she did as well. Doing something good and right was not the immediate cause of the guilt problem. It was that after she did something good and right, people where still displeased. Her being able to do good things and right things made many people uncomfortable, to the point of these same people becoming rather cranky, antagonistic and condescending toward her. So when she was brilliant, she felt sadly guilty. It made her want to hide her amazing abilities. She tended to stay hunkered down like a beaten dog, which is not to be confused with being the virtue of humility. Being demeaned–even self-demeaned–is not humility. It is merely a result of abuse disguised in another form. Humility is simply realistically knowing our abilities without being an egotistical braggart about it. The Dalai Lama said something to the effect of this on the topic of confidence; it’s like being tall. When you are tall you can reach higher places. Being able to reach something someone else cannot does not make you better. It just makes you tall.
The end of Butterfly’s story was also the beginning. One day Butterfly met a mystical revered spiritual teacher. He taught her special prayers and helped her understand who she was in the core of her being. He taught her that she was everything infinitely good, pure and wise. One morning not long after talking to this spiritual master, she woke up and had strange new experience. She had no guilt. It was so radical to have no feelings of guilt, that Butterfly was initially frightened and amazed. How could she have gone through life so far without noticing that  guilt had colored her every thought, action and view with a hazy perilous darkness? This new freedom from guilt was alarming at best.
Her first thought was, “How will I tell right from wrong?”
And within just a short time of reflecting on that idea, Butterfly understood how completely ridiculous it was to think that guilt was her interior guidance to truth and positive choices. Guilt was in fact a plague on her life, as it is a plague on everyone’s life. Guilt does not make us good people. Guilt does not inform our decisions in truth, but burdens them down with confusion and deception. Guilt is not a virtue. Rather, guilt is a weight worn about the neck that keeps one bowed to the false Gods of egotistical habitual self-abuse.
Butterfly was finally free! She realized immediately that her true guidance is the deep innate wisdom within her already and that she would have to learn to trust that abiding wisdom. This inner divine Wisdom Guidance is pure eternally aware and omnipotent, and centered at its core is pure goodness, love and compassion. This is where she will find her answers. This is what she will pull on to make her good choices. This is the quality of virtue that can successfully help us navigate life. And with this revelation, Butterfly finally successfully and faithfully allowed herself to accept a new clear viewpoint so she could live the rest of her life with joy and accuracy. And at her ending and beginning, she flew away to pursue a happier life, free from the weight of useless confusing guilt.
So this is the end and the beginning of the little story of Butterfly.

And further more, we do not need guilt.

In a more straightforward and realistic manner, guilt is not good for anyone. Shame is not what we need to have making our decisions, but rather something we need to heal within ourselves. Shame is a sense of doing something we are not proud of. It could be seen as guilt, or it can be something all together different. But what shame and guilt have in common is they do not help us, other than to enable us to see something that needs to change in our life. Shame is something that needs to be healed, and it might be a warning to create a more positive environment through positive choices. Guilt we’ve already discussed. We cannot let our habitual patterns of thinking and false ideas ruin our lives by stunting our potential growth, and placing joy and happiness out of our reach.
There is confusion to what is guidance and what is not. We must learn how to discern goodness and truth. If it isn’t compassionate, it is not from God. And in that manner of speaking, if it isn’t God, it isn’t who we are in truth. All good gifts are from above. Focus on trusting higher truth, instead of letting our doubts, fear, insecurities and self-inflicted punishments consume our possibilities. Simply this, we cannot appease anyone but the divine within our own self, and all that takes is love, forgiveness of self, and being open to a better viewpoint. And if we seek truth, which we must bravely do, then we will have conflict. And conflict is part of life. Life requires great effort and courage. Guilt keeps us hemmed into a way of life that is small and fearful. It is bad programming that destroys happy life.
So look to the guilt we feel. Why is it there? Examine that. Work through our interior constructs of mind and emotion with compassionate awareness. Forgiveness for being an imperfect human being is necessary, particular towards one’s self. Prayer is essential. Ask for truth. Seek it. Allow it to transform our idea of who we think we are as opposed to who we are in truth. Allow it to show a divine perfection within our humanity that has nothing to do with our faulty human ideas. And let Holiness and Wholeness shine within our person for the sake of everyone, despite what anyone may think.
Shining is always a great thing to do.
Be free.

What Should We Do?


In a world full of hate, what should we do? In times of violence, abuse and fear-mongering, what should we do?

When bad things happen to good people, and work is hard to find, when we see people living without basic needs, what do we do? When we are living in desperate situations, what do we do?

It is easy to become overwhelmed by what we see everyday and what we experience. But do not let what we see and experience make us bitter and hard. Do not let our current situations and frustrations keep us from what we are meant to experience in life. Regardless of how bad things get, there is always an opportunity in the experience of being human to use everything that comes to us to become who we are in the deepest truth of what that means. And that truth is glorious. And that truth is freedom itself.

When we are overwhelmed, what we do is to take a moment and sit still–pray, reflect and listen to our hearts. Find the mercy and compassion that dwell in the deepest part of who we are and pull that forward. Let it arise within us as a holy infinite spring that gives pure unending life to all. Give room for all the disturbing horror of the world to move through, be cleansed by that life spring and be released forever more. We wipe the dirt away from our soul–our mind and heart–that gathers like dust, settling on us in a dark cloud each day. Wash it off.

We do such things by developing a mental attitude that says, I am not afraid to feel what I feel. I am fearless. I am made of a fiery refining courage. I am the light in the darkness. My feelings are not permanent. My mind and heart are of the same essence as the divine–the pure omnipotent consciousness–and I will rest in that perfection.

And we do this. We sit within our own innate divine perfection and we refuel, we feed our soul and refresh our mind and heart.
Then we go on.

We go on to our normal daily life to do whatever is best to our own capacity.

We do good for the sake of goodness. And we do what good we can do to the level we are able to do it. We have faith rather than fear. And when we have fear, instead of faith–we forgive ourselves and we grow stronger in mercy. Because we all fail. We all break and are remade into something more sublime when we allow that transfiguration. And we must allow transfiguration to happen. We must be willing and give consent for miracles to seed, bloom, grow and have room to flourish. Mercy is made of failure.

Living well is a simple process. It requires a dedication to simple methods of preserving our own integrity, joy, love and enthusiasm by way of facing what we need to face each day with as much mercy as we can cultivate.

Silence our own harsh words within the mind that tell us that we are a worthless, unlovable, stupid and a failure. When the ugly critical inner voices no longer spew hatred in our minds, our mouths will speak kindness and wisdom. And our words will heal rather than cause harm. As we change our interior dialogue we can imagine washing clean those wounded echoes of past shame with the light of love and mercy. And this is enough.

So this is what we do.

We keep trying. We get up when we fall.

We love. We laugh. We keep doing the best we can with what we’ve been given. We sit and face our problems in our own personal intimate way. We encourage others. We encourage ourselves. We make an effort to help one another. We find our mercy and compassion within, and we become a light for the world to see by.

And we do this all within the mundane. It only takes everyday normal people to change the world for the better.

Be loving, compassionate and generous and everything we touch will begin to heal, even if we cannot see that miraclous restoration happening. When one person heals, so do we all.

Stay strong in the trust that we each have an important part to play. Learn how to feed innate joy, to inspire it within, so you may share it with others.

This is what we should do.

What seems overly complicated and oppressive can only be addressed effectively with simplicity.

Mercy is simple.

Love is simple.

Joy is simple.

This is what we can do.

Help Me Hope

imageHope is a word people use constantly, yet few understand exactly what it is. What is hope? I’ve sought that answer for a long time. And perhaps the best I can offer is to allude to what it means to me.


I’ve heard we must have faith, hope and love. I understand very well why we must love. If we want love in this world we must learn to love and exude love and become love embodied. Only love begets love; and love is the perfect answer for everything.

Faith I understand too. Faith is the way we think. It is an openness to God, to goodness, to ultimate divine perfection that gives us freedom to move about unhindered in a world full of doubt, darkness and fear. It is a process of training our minds and hearts to move to the next level of positivity because it is practical and healthy. Faith does move mountains.

So hope. What is it?

Is it expectation? Because expectation in itself is flawed and rarely turns out to be a good thing. Expectations are merely rules we set within our minds that what we experience must be this or that. There is no this or that. There is only what is. An expectation is a concrete idea that one embraces of how one thinks things have to be; and when expectations are not met, there is great suffering and disappointment–bitter disillusionment. And bitter disillusionment leaves us hopeless.

Hope is not an expectation. And yet hope does seem like it is possibly something weirdly the same without the restrictive view that inevitably causes things to not end well.

I’ve heard it suggested that a person should be able to live in hopelessness and in that state one would be free from all clinging and attachment to this illusionary temporary world because everything we experience causes suffering otherwise. I find this idea ludicrous. Regardless of renunciation and spiritual prowess, hopelessness is an experience of meaningless life. It is being stuck in a mud hole covered in shit, without being able to see the sky above. And because we cannot see the sky, we believe the sky no longer exists. The sky is still there. The sky is our expansive God-mind; it is our infinite nature. And this is what I feel hope is: “Hope” is that glimmer of wisdom from beyond time and experience that tell us that the transient nature of this human existence is in fact good and will bring a higher good into being.

Hope, as it is to me, is something I can ascribe to what I feel now, regardless of what I see. As I see a grand scene of life playing out in front of me, as I have been and continue to watch our current problems and generalized negative social disposition in the world; I cannot help but see a swift end to humanity as it is. We have already used up most the earth’s resources irresponsibly and we show no sign of stopping. We squabble and war for no good reason, and lay waste to everything that keeps us from our egotistical agendas. We throw life away like useless garbage; and cannot seem to understand as a whole the importance of acknowledging sacredness in all because we do not appear to know that sacredness even exists, let alone what it is.

And hope–which is entirely necessary to me now–is a quality of grace, a divine gift, that helps me know that we, humanity, still have a chance to turn things around regardless. My hope is that we all can find the divine spark within us, cultivate that enlightened flame and make the essential shift within ourselves, within our families and communities, and within the world at large–before we miss the last opportunity to pull back the reins in time to prevent an inevitable plunge into a permanent cataclysmic abyss.

This is the end of days. It has always been the end of days, because we all die–so every life has its own eschaton. But this end of days I see now will be taking away our proverbial future and our children’s future with it. This is the big eschaton coming up hard and fast on our collective heels.

Hope is all I have for the change we need to continue.

Help me have hope.

Show me the sky.

Everyone Counts–A Critique on Hate


People are talking. The world suddenly seems incredibly small, because it is. And Rational people are concerned with the rise of hatred in what words we see splattered like blood on a wall, what hatred we see smeared across the television screens and on our little cell phones that are inseparable from our person. We can’t stop looking at the train as it hits the concrete wall going a million miles per hour. As if in slow motion, we watch the destruction as it grinds into something unrecognizable, disintegrating into shrapnel that flies out in all directions decapitating any future anyone may ever have. Is this entertainment? Do we care enough to change our behavior? Or do we just watch as things go up in flames? Rational people are sickened and abhorrently shocked at the absurdity of hatred exploding in violent episodes through the country, throughout the world. None of it makes sense. And none of it is a solution for anything.

And it is all a personal responsibility. Do we choose hatred or do we chose to be compassionate? Everything we do is a choice. Human Beings are not predestined to live like mindless demons controlled by inner ignorance, ego and fear. Anyone can be a good person, but it actually takes effort. It takes no effort to hate and cause destruction, other than a complacent willingness to just fling our insanity at the world around us, blame everyone else and live like a brain-sick rabid wolverine. And just a note to be clear: a healthy wild wolverine has much better, more practical habits than a stubbornly stupid hate-filled person.

This continued violent hatred is a giant shit ball, ever increasing in size as it rolls straight down the hill of denigrating what’s left of humanity to land firmly in hell. Hatred is a death sentence for whoever holds it, whoever projects it and whoever inflicts it on others. Stop making hell for everyone else. If you must live in hell, please do it privately and inclusively on your own.


Stop it. You’re really being stupid.

If you hate anyone or anything, then you need to reevaluate your habitual thinking patterns. Regardless of religious or non-religious affiliation, it is a known fact that psychologically hatred consumes the person who hates. Hatred even makes the person who hates physically sick. Hatred is never a solution and always a problem. Hatred directly causes harm to self and to others. And the human being who ignorantly thinks hatred is natural, and is just a part of being alive, let me just say–it isn’t. Hatred is a poison in the mind and heart. Hatred is a choice. Do we hold onto the poison, do we cast the poison out?

Dysfunction is unfortunately prevalent in the world. People do horrible things. Abusers destroy children and children if they survive it have to choose, “Do I continue to destroy by also being a hate-filled abuser, or do I become the cure for hatred on the planet by letting my own experience fill me with a higher compassionate purpose?” You can be a hate-filled abuser and accuser, or you can contribute to positive solutions–but you can’t do both.

There is always a choice.

And it is a personal choice. Hate stands against anything good–even if not especially, self-hatred. Hatred is a mental and emotional egotistical distortion that a person surrenders to, ignorantly thinks is the way things are or willingly embraces. It’s like falling in love with cancer, inviting it into your physical body and thinking “I’ll be just fine.” after the fact. “Yes, cancer I want you to eat my body, and disease my mind until it causes everything I am to rot and fester, then wither and die. Yes, I want that.”

So the hatred we see boiling over into a venomous momentous idea of having a “personal right” to destroy anyone and everything that steps into our field of psychosis–is not helpful. It is no one’s personal right to harm anyone else. It is no one’s personal right to abuse another person or living being. It is not a personal inalienable right to hate and destroy. It is however a personal responsibility to be a positive human being who causes no harm.

Everyone counts.

If we keep on blaming everyone else for our problems, then we are stupid and are doomed to destroy everything good that we know of life. And that is just the way it is. This world is too small for it to be anyway other than that.

It’s a choice. Choose wisely.



New Testament Love Translated for Modern Americans


Love is the message of Jesus of Nazareth, the Biblical Jesus Christ. Love. That’s the point. And for some reason, love is a quality that humankind is reluctant to embrace. It has always been that way, and it seems in modern times that we haven’t changed a bit. We are still resistant to the idea of genuine love in all its varied forms. We dance all around through the scriptures, this way and that, making them fit into whatever scenario we feel works for us at the time. I truly believe that most Christians greatly revere, admire and are inspired by the teachings of Jesus Christ, but how often do we as individuals actually delve into cultivating true love within our own hearts as he demands we do–and live that love? It’s not impossible to do. And it seems like a reasonable request. Why do we, even now, not want to embrace the core of what Jesus’ teachings prescribe?

I say that and some of you may not want to believe that it is true. But look at the news. Look how people who say they are Christians are behaving. Listen to what they say. Is that love?

Do not make the mistake of reinterpreting love as some twisted, self-righteous excuse to inflict a hateful judgment, pointing and crying out “Us” and “Them” in the name of God. Being a judgmental ass is not righteousness, rather it is self-righteous, vain, pompous, hateful ignorance-and it has nothing to do with love. Just a reminder, the word “Satan” means the accuser. So be careful of the finger pointing.

We cannot base the depth of Christianity on the screaming voices of those who have labeled themselves as Christians, but preach violence, hatred, destruction and discrimination. We cannot base our understanding of any religion on such faulty views. It would be wonderful if everyone who said they were Christian actually acted like one–and better yet imitated Jesus in his non-violent, patient and loving manner. But as we can clearly see, that is not what is happening in the world.

Love is scary. Love makes us vulnerable. And so we are immensely frightened by the concept of sincerely opening our hearts in this cruel world, full of cruel people. However, it is paradoxical that if we do not open our hearts, we instead become one of those who are cruel. That is the power of fear. By not doing what we know we should we become what we do not want to be–we become what we fear the most. In the end when all is said and done, if it ain’t love–or our thoughts, speech and actions are not done with loving intent–then it’s vanity and a waste of time. Love is all we can keep in the end, yet love is never a possession.

For the last 30 years exactly, I have been working every day, struggling through my own issues, through the years of having suicidal depression, dysfunction, intense anger and self-hate in order to find my way to love. And I’d like to share what I have learned on the subject, and most of it has come by way of studying scriptures, sacred texts, learning to forgive myself and practicing what I preach. It has taken being open to what I need to learn. Truth requires an open mind and an open heart.

First, as a Christian who embraces God by every name and honors God in all to the best of my capacity, what I have found is in the New Testament the most important aspect is the teachings of Jesus, which focus on love and compassion. He keeps things simple. “Love God. Love your neighbor as yourself.” “Judge not lest ye be judged.” And importantly he says repeatedly, “Seek truth, the truth will set you free.”

The way is simple.

Love is indeed found in greater truth. When one looks for truth, we can find answers and solutions–and eventually we find wisdom. And while stumbling into wisdom via our search for truth, we discover higher clarity to why there is in fact inherent love and divinity within ourselves. In the realization of that inherent quality of indwelling divinity, a light shines on how we can better become vessels of love; and it becomes obvious why love and compassion are so intensely important.

But what is love? What is the definition of love in the New Testament?

To find love within ourselves is to understand the nature of mercy. Mercy is a wisdom spawn of imperfection, yet mercy is perfect in itself. Love is inseparable from mercy and wisdom, and all are divine perfections–not to be mistaken with the idea of human perfection which is a complete falsehood. We are not on the planet to pretend to be perfect people. We are all screwed up–every one of us is broken or at least has been broken at some point. If we can’t admit to that, then God help us all.

Don’t kid yourself into thinking that you must act like your are perfect because you are this or that religion. You aren’t perfect. I’m not perfect. But that’s the whole crazy delusion. That’s not what divine perfection is about. Divine perfection is about love and mercy. There is no way to win approval in this world of human beings. If acceptance and approval is what one thinks of as perfection, then that person is in big trouble. We can go our entire lives thinking that we need to live up to the standards of others. At best that will lead to being permanently insecure and completely at the whim of what everyone else’s delusions dictate. Doesn’t sound appealing to me. Instead, we should focus on what we are at our core and transform into the highest joyful version of that merely for the sake of goodness and love itself. What can we do to improve or be happier about our own life and the lives of everyone we care for, if it does not begin and end with making an ongoing effort to exude common decency, respect for the sacredness of all life, love, tolerance and compassion?

“Beloved, Love one another as God has loved you.”

And this, “I want mercy, not sacrifice.” That statement is in the New Testament in many places for good reason. “I want mercy, not sacrifice.”

Think about it.

It is in recovering these divine perfections within that will simultaneously bring us into the unity with the pure God Mind and God Heart. That is who we really are. But that takes a great bit of lifelong effort, which also might be why so few attempt to be like Christ-like. It’s way easier to be a judgmental, angry, hateful, reactive ass. However, being a judgmental ass is not a fulfilled, joyful occupation; nor is it a comprehensively positive solution to life as we know it. It only makes life worse for everyone, including ourselves. To refine our human experience into one of love and mercy, we must look at ourselves and forgive our own idiosyncrasies and numerous faults. We do that with understanding. If we can do that for ourselves, we can do that for others. And that is mercy plain and simple. And the entire effort is one of true love. At some point, our own interior love knows we have no right to judge anyone.

The Old Testament establishes what I just said. Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

If God created humankind in his own image, then at the core of humanity there is the perfect God within–humanity is innately good. We are all inherently good. However, we have to work to rediscover that good. That is our choice to do. Being a good person is not an immediate entitled privilege reserved just for us because we say we are saved by Jesus. Being saved by Jesus requires us to make an effort to do our part. If we are not doing our part, then that’s also a choice. There is always cause and effect to everything we do. If we choose to call ourselves Christian, but not try in any shape or form to be Christ-like, that’s not a good statement to our own commitment to being saved. We have to work hard to make good choices that bring good into our own lives, our family’s lives and into the world around us. The world around us is a projection of how we think and what we focus on. We have to learn how to cope in a radically distorted vision of what we think we know of the world, through working through our own egotistical issues that shroud us in darkness, rather than light. “Let your eye be filled with light, so that your whole body will be filled with light as well.”

We have to choose to learn how to move through emotions with emotional literacy. That takes wisdom. And to find wisdom, we must develop discernment.

The number one thing I have learned about discernment is simply–if it isn’t compassionate, it isn’t from God.

Focus is everything. If we go around focused on evil, we will have lots of evil. If we focus on good, if we focus on God, then we will have light. It doesn’t mean the whole world will willingly transform to our higher vision of love and light. But it doesn’t mean it won’t either. Our participation in necessary.

If we think we are flawed at our core, from evil origins from the beginning of time, then what hope is there to become like Jesus Christ? Don’t take away the only chance you have at healing, at wholeness–at holiness–by thinking your way into impossibility. That would be hell on earth. We must find our own sacredness for ourselves.

Original sin does not mean we are evil at the core. It means we are ignorant and require truth in order to be free from our shroud of ignorance. Ignorance is something we are taught-something we erroneously embrace. We are subtly taught ignorance by living in the world, while thinking that the world around us is truth. The world cannot determine effective positive rules in which for us to successfully live by, no matter what we see or experience. The rules of the world are deceptive and primarily all together wrong because they are based on distorted perception, emotional reactivity and ignorance in its most primal form. There are deeper truths; an absolute truth.

We can see perfection in the world in beauty and love. So it’s not that we can’t learn or grow by what we witness or experience, but we must work at becoming more aware of what we are thinking, saying and doing. We must evaluate why we think, say and do what we do. What is our intent? Personal ego power or higher love?

Jesus says we, human beings, can become just like him and then some. “You too can do all that I can do and more; because I go now to the Father.”

Let’s contemplate this, a commonly read quote from 1St Corinthians about love. Most people have heard or read the scripture I’m mentioning at some point in his or her life as a Christian. And most would feel the power in it, because it provokes an obvious truth about love. And I will say up front, Paul, who was formerly Saul, formerly a zealot who brutally killed early Christians as heretics before converting himself to Christianity, had a lot to say on a lot of subjects. Honestly, he was not always in accordance with Jesus’ teachings himself in his writings. So teachers of Biblical Scripture recommend using critical thinking when studying the bible.

As from Wikipedia: Critical thinking, also called critical analysis, is clear, rational thinking involving critique. Its details vary amongst those who define it. According to Barry K. Beyer (1995), critical thinking means making clear, reasoned judgments. During the process of critical thinking, ideas should be reasoned, well thought out, and judged.[1] The National Council for Excellence in Critical Thinking[2] defines critical thinking as the intellectually disciplined process of actively and skillfully conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, synthesizing, and/or evaluating information gathered from, or generated by, observation, experience, reflection, reasoning, or communication, as a guide to belief and action.’[3]

All I can say is that Paul, the author of 1st Corinthians, was a man of his time. He didn’t care for the rights of women, because the society he lived in at the time did not care for women, and additionally they were a culture that also kept slaves. Paul squelched the voices of women in the church, and his writings on the subject are still used as a way to control women presently. He didn’t recommend being married, among other things, and he also made a statement that can be horribly misinterpreted about our bodies and sexuality being evil. But we are talking about love. At best, he often had hard views. And there were only so many ways to verbalize extremely deep ideas with the language of his time, which has been translated over and over again for thousands of years.

With that said, Paul worked tirelessly unto death to redeem his former violent actions and went on to become a beacon of Christianity. Regardless, even though I truly relate to and am inspired by much of what Paul my say, I do not confuse Paul for Jesus.

On some subjects he was divinely inspired to the utmost degree, as with the scripture below. I do respect greatly his words of truth when they are based in the wisdom of love. This is a scripture that inspires true love and it well sums up the meaning of love in the New Testament.


1 Though I command languages both human and angelic — if I speak without love, I am no more than a gong booming or a cymbal clashing.

2 And though I have the power of prophecy, to penetrate all mysteries and knowledge, and though I have all the faith necessary to move mountains — if I am without love, I am nothing.

3 Though I should give away to the poor all that I possess, and even give up my body to be burned — if I am without love, it will do me no good whatever.

4 Love is always patient and kind; love is never jealous; love is not boastful or conceited,

5 it is never rude and never seeks its own advantage, it does not take offence or store up grievances.


6 Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but finds its joy in the truth.

7 It is always ready to make allowances, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.

8 Love never comes to an end. But if there are prophecies, they will be done away with; if tongues, they will fall silent; and if knowledge, it will be done away with.

9 For we know only imperfectly, and we prophesy imperfectly;

10 but once perfection comes, all imperfect things will be done away with.

11 When I was a child, I used to talk like a child, and see things as a child does, and think like a child; but now that I have become an adult, I have finished with all childish ways.

12 Now we see only reflections in a mirror, mere riddles, but then we shall be seeing face to face. Now I can know only imperfectly; but then I shall know just as fully as I am myself known.

13 As it is, these remain: faith, hope and love, the three of them; and the greatest of them is love.


This is love.

To find love, we must become love. And to become love, we must be willing to see our own negative ego habits, and we must forgive ourselves. We must listen and learn; and we do that with mercy. We listen to and monitor what comes out of our minds, hearts and mouths, and we make it our goal to weed out what isn’t compassionate. It is important to treat our own psyche with compassion. Our hatred and anger are habitual cycles that return only with stronger force if they are not handled with compassion and forgiveness.

This interior work is the work of love. This is the highest goal in life, to seek truth and embody love.

Love takes courage and commitment. Love is a force that requires mastery and determination, but even a child can do it and children do it so wonderfully. “Let the children come unto me, for it is only in becoming like a child that one will know the kingdom of God.”

Love often requires us to face down demons of fear, and conquer them with faith.

Love certainly requires us to face truth about ourselves, and in facing that truth we find even greater love because we will find freedom from the deceptions we have mistakenly embraced that chronically poison our lives, and give rise to self-hatred, destructive behavior and self-sabotage. By cultivating pure hearted love, our minds align with the mind of God. The world may still be a sad, horrific place, but it all can be overcome with love. For in love we find our joy. And love is all that remains in the end. Love begets love.

“Love conquers all.”




Nashville -Where is Your Affordable Housing Now?


That’s it.

After struggling, tooth and nail, scratching and starving for years to buy an affordable home here in Nashville, it’s over. Blown. And I can see no way to make this right, but to share my story with the process. People, this is bad. This this smacks of a loop hole that is certainly illegal, and it’s significant for everyone who isn’t a millionaire–or particularly aren’t even a thousandaire. And what I’m about to say isn’t okay in any shape or form. I am being railroaded out of my own community because there are no options for normal working people in the lower income bracket in the Nashville area.

The tornatic storm heading our way right now is only a fitting representation of what I’m feeling now. Blow you damn storm. Screw this. Homes are being blown away and the real straight line wind hasn’t even gotten here yet.

But hey, people are making some money aren’t they.

This afternoon after fighting to make sure my credit is good enough and that I meet all the criteria to buy a home for an extremely modest price of $55-60,000 with a rehab 203k loan with down-payment and closing assistance program through the Housing Fund, I get a call that blows me out of the water. This afternoon, I am about to make an offer on a house in bad repair–what most would call an unlivable dump–that comes with an acre or so for my horse in Pegram, TN, just outside of the Nashville city limits. After getting off the phone with my realtor, I get a call from my lender saying they can no longer use the Housing Fund on a 203K.What?

This is the second lender that has told me this in a week and the second house that I’ve lost because of it. That may not be any big deal for people who make a reasonable wage, but for me and those like me on the bottom of the financial barrel it is a very big deal.

Just finding a home in my price range that isn’t immediately bought for cash by a developer is a miracle in itself. But this one has a lot of difficult problems to navigate, so it is still sitting there–for the moment anyway. I think I’ve done my homework. Maybe this will be the one. I have a rescued horse, two big rescued dogs and a rescued cat who are also dependent on finding a home, as the farm I rent is being sold out from under me. So my realtor had just worked out the details; and we are finally ready to put the offer together to see what will happen.

And then total bullshit happens instead. The storm coming has nothing on the anger I feel. And it is righteous anger. This should not be allowed to happen. This should not be legal, if it is in fact legal.

Of course all this happens right before coming to work. I work at a cancer support center here in the Nashville area. And when I’m there, I need to put my energy into being a positive supportive encouraging force for good. I do not need to be sucked dry by greedy development strategies and industrial banking practices that destroy the poor. I’ve been talking to this particular lender for over a year. And now, as of March, they don’t do down-payment assistance programs on rehabs.

And damn straight, I’m telling my story loud and clear. Bankers beware. I know the secret. I know what is being done to prevent “expensive loans.” And just to let everyone know, it is mandatory for all lenders to make sure they have a way to offer lower income individuals a way to buy a home. Well, that isn’t stopping the banks. I’m sure I’m not the only one in a hard predicament of facing homelessness. The banks get paid plenty. They suck interest off of the loan for years before the principle is even touched.

So the idea is that they have “tightened up” with restrictions to insure that there is no more “bank failures.” The bank bailouts where not because of low income people buying housing they could not afford. It was because lenders wanted to lend larger amounts to make more money on interest, so they allowed people–mostly mid to higher income people–to buy way above the comfort zone on the loan/debt ratio. That was irresponsible. And it still is irresponsible. But this is not about the irresponsibility of buyers. This is about responsible people who work hard to have the opportunity to own a home they can afford to live in. This is about deliberately not making smaller loans available for to lower income people so they can buy affordable housing, because the lenders don’t want to do the same amount of work for less money. That’s why the government made it mandatory that all banks have a way to offer lower income loan programs. So the lenders response seems to be to stop offering the loans entirely?

It’s next to impossible to find any lender who will offer mortgage loans to buy a manufactured home on a permanent foundation now, which is most likely what is available to purchase in that lower price category. So unless it’s a new trailer or manufactured home, no one can buy it if it’s up for resale–except of course for the developers who can plop down a little bit of cash when the foreclosure price bottoms out and it’s auctioned off. And if no one can buy these “affordable homes” after they’ve been bought the first time, then whoever bought it is sure to foreclose if they ever need to move. Because if you can’t sell the house you just bought, you will not be in a very good position when life throws a curve at you.It’s a racket. Mortgage companies just do not want to do “expensive loans.” Who cares if poor people become homeless and lose everything they have because this is the way of the newly revised Banks who all had to be bailed out to save their asses because they made ridiculous stupid loans for a quick profit. It’s never really been the poor people who fucked it up for anyone else. Poor people know how to live on a budget. The problem lies with the gullibility and naivety of those who bought far more than they could afford while the banks lenders prodding them on, singing the praises of, “Spend more! Spend more! You deserve it! Get the custom marble counter tops!”

And it’s now impossible for regular people with regular jobs to buy an older home in need of repairs to fix up with a 203k FHA loan. If you take away the ability to use down-payment and closing cost programs, then you take away the loan opportunities. Regular people pay all the same bills as the rest of the world. And they can’t save thousands and thousands of dollars for down-payments while being underemployed and overcharged on rent.

There was a time normal people could buy houses.

So this is the letter I just sent to as many Metro Government Officials as possible in the Nashville Mayor’s Office.

Feel free to pass it around. Feel free to make some noise before all the artists, musicians, underpaid workers, people trying to make an honest living working an honest job, creatives, writers, anyone interesting, teachers, childcare workers, social workers, medical techs, animal rescuers, secretaries, receptionists, retailers, restaurant servers, administrators, non-profits of all kinds, and anyone and everyone with a low paying jobs inevitably find themselves being pushed, shoved and kicked out of the Nashville community for being unfashionably poor.


Dear Mayor Megan Barry & Metro Nashville Officials;

Thank you for supporting the Nashville area and community. I am reaching out to you now as one who has lived in Nashville for close to 30 years and have been an active part of the community the entire time, in arts, social justice, animal welfare, and cancer care. And as things are going I will be forced to live in very uncertain circumstances. And I have no doubt that this is something happening to many people who work normal jobs, who are living below the poverty line and who are valuable contributing members of this town.

There is a problem of which you need to be made aware. I’ve been avidly seeking to buy a home in the Nashville area for several years. I am on the bottom tier for the Housing Fund and have bought before using this program successfully. I moved from my last home because I work with horses and because I was in a very bad neighborhood. The Housing Fund is a great organization that makes home buying available to people like myself. And as we all know, it is a legal mandate that lenders have some sort of program to allow lower income people buy affordable housing.

However, now after finally having my credit score and income level and other important requirements put together after several years of intense struggling to do so, I found out that many lenders are now refusing to accept the Housing Fund for 203k FHA loans within the last few months. I’ve had 2 homes that I have tried to put in an offer within 2 weeks that I lost the opportunity to buy because lenders refuse to use the Housing Fund in support of the rehab loan for 203k, which is necessary if one is needing a livable home in my price range.

My price range is $55,000-60,000. I cannot buy anything more than that because not only is that all I can afford, I also want to be able to live there and do the work I do in my old age.

Miraculously, I have managed to actually find a few properties that where not immediately bought for cash by investors. I did that through hard work researching online, driving back roads and searching the country side, and through my realtor who has worked tirelessly to help me.

Homes of this price range are usually auctioned off to developers or are made “cash only” purchases for investors. In the last 2 weeks I’ve lost 2 opportunities for the same reason, which is that the lender no longer works with the Housing Fund. That is illegal. And if it’s no longer illegal it should be.

How many people like myself who work in non-profit are going to be able to find a livable home in the Nashville area with such inflated prices as we have presently? It is impossible. I am on my own. I am not married nor will I be. And I am a equine and animal rescuer. I have served on the board of the Volunteer Equine Advocates for several years until recently when I adopted the horse I trained. She was one of many that was on the news for animal cruelty. She was the one from a near by area that was starved and her foal was killed and hung in a tree. That man actually got off and was never charged even though he killed 3 horses in just over a year.  I’m having to keep my horse an hour and a half away until I can buy my own home.

Now that is ruined and things are about to get really bad for me if no one steps in. 

I live on a property in town that is under contract. I have a 30 day lease and will have to move when the home closes. And there is absolutely no way I can afford anything in the Nashville or surrounding areas for rent which is more than twice what I would pay if I had bought in my price range, especially with 2 large rescued dogs and a rescued horse.

I had researched this. I had found a way to buy and I was about to do it. Now I can’t and I feel someone better do something about this pronto. I refuse to go down into homelessness silently. And I refuse to allow my animals to be put back into a system of fostering and adoption because no one cares about lower income people in this area.

So I have to have land for a horse and a home. Now I find out lenders are not allowing the use of down-payment assistance programs on 203k FHA. What is a 203k FHA for if it isn’t for a lower income person or family to be able to buy a home for a reasonable price to rehab and occupy?

I know very well, and I have even been told by a lender that most lenders do not want to do home loans for that low of an amount because it is considered an “expensive loan.” I know you know what that means. It means discrimination. And yet, despite that being illegal, I’ve been told that by a mortgage broker before that I couldn’t get a loan for that reason. It is happening.

And now, for the government to allow lenders to refuse to work with the Housing Fund or down-payment assistance programs is unbelievably criminal and beyond disheartening for this and any community who has this happening. The Housing Fund has no problem turning around paperwork in order to meet the new TRID guidelines. This travesty has to be rectified now.

The developers cannot be the only ones allowed to thrive in this town.

And ironically I was the one who had to introduce the key note speaker Nicolas P. Retsinas, Senior Lecturer of Business Administration, Harvard Business School and President of International Habitat for Humanity, for a Housing Fund event given for lenders, developers and mortgage companies in 2006. I was terrified, but I said then that it was imperative to make sure lower income people had ways to buy homes. And Nicolas Retsinas told all of Nashville’s lenders and buyers that our town would implode and fail as a community if there was no affordable housing for the people who actually work normal jobs and work keeping the non-profits running.

Affordable housing is not $100,000 homes and upwards. Affordable housing for a single income provider who works a regular job or in non-profit starts at $50000 and ends around $80000. Rent is absurd in this town and it is because the Metro Government has not stepped in to reel it into normalcy.

I had been pre-qualified for over a year with Movement Mortgage and when I went to put an offer for $42500 on a 203k FHA for a total of $60000, I was told the new guidelines starting in March of 2016 prohibits the use of the Housing Fund. And now I have absolutely no options for housing. None.

I’ve been turned down by many lenders for the same reasons. Sun West was the lender who also refused to use the housing fund.

I do not have family or friends who can put me and my animals up or help me move. I am responsible for my own cost and housing issues. So when my rented home sells, I will be homeless now.

I work at a non-profit cancer community support center. I would like to continue to work there. I am an artist in the community. I am a published author. I formerly sang as a vocalist for the Nashville Symphony Choir and would like to do it again if I could live some where I can afford in the area. I give free public talks on Practical Spirituality for Depression and I also do energetic healing sessions for people in the last stages of life–for free. I trained rescued horses for free. I was planning on continuing to do that as well. However, I can’t very well do that if I can’t buy a home.

This is a crisis for me and the animals I love. And this is a crisis for the arts, spirituality and healing community of Nashville. Kick us out and you won’t have a city anymore.

As I was unable to attain Megan Barry’s email, please forward this to her. She is a part of my community of whom I have supported and we have many mutual friends, who I will be reaching out to in a more public format on social media about this concern.

Thank you for your time and attention. I hope that you can sincerely turn this around, if not for me, for the others who will most certainly be experiencing the same thing. And this needs to be a high priority concern, because like myself, there is no where for us to go.

pamela stansberry
contemplate | create | illuminate 


And again, that’s that.

Share the news. It might help someone besides me before there are no actual regular underpaid working people who do normal jobs left in Nashville.

And I should also add, only allowing lower income people and families to buy in the “projects” or in “designated areas” is an extremely unacceptable solution to affordable housing.




Why is Altruism Important?

Have you ever thought about why altruism is important?

I hope we all have. Regardless, it’s a very good subject for everyone to contemplate, then come back to and review again for good measure. After all, it’s a rather expansive concept. I’m not sure if most people take the time to understand in a more modern sense of what it all really means.

What are the bare bones facts and considerations for the larger implications of, “Why should we be altruist?” “What is the point, anyway?” And of course, there is the all too frequent attitude of, “What’s in it for me?”

In our weirdly divisive world which seem to be growing more wonky, rather than harmonious, I think it’s a good thing to evaluate why seeking to benefit others is presently relevant.

Why is Altruism important? Instant Karma? Getting good stuff in return for doing good things? If we do good, we get to go to heaven? Do unto others as we would have done to us?

Altruism is important because it is the ultimate practical solution for a better, happier, more purposeful existence for all sentient life on the planet. And just for clarification, sentient life includes both humans and non-human life: animal, plant, aquatic, reptilian, you get it…

One might ask, “How is altruism practical?”

Let’s just see if I can work this out in a simple yet profoundly understandable manner.

1. Why is altruism important:

Altruism = unselfishly concerned for or devoted to the welfare of others (as opposed to egoistic. “Egotistical” is always putting oneself first regardless of harm to others or even harm to self). Being altruistic is having the goal of helping–benefiting in some manner–all beings, rather than harming them. There are extremes to altruism, as there are in everything. So rather than speaking of it as being, “always completely sacrificing everything for the sake of others while living in a state of austerity and poverty,” lets just take a more balanced approach of the concept and define it as, “having an ongoing goal to be a good, ethical person, while actively doing good to others, both in action and speach, while also having a reasonably normal life in the more modern sense.”

The reason why this is important is–because if everyone had the goal of being helpful rather than harmful and/or hateful–there would be no starvation, no homelessness, no hatred, no violence and no war. With this shared commonality, we would figure out how to live wonderfully “as is” in an imperfect world, as imperfect people, because we are doing the best we can towards meeting that positive goal together. We would make room for each other. And we would not be poisoning the earth and ruining the environment, because that is not good for long-term sustainability for life on earth.

People would have businesses. We would still work in a million different capacities; yet we would work ethically, rather than stepping on each other to get ahead. This isn’t about turning the world into a communistic version of standing in line to receive our food packet, but rather a uniquely different, and more healthy version of what we do now in modern society–minus the greed, hate, fear-mongering, abuse, back-stabbing, tearing one another down, repression and exploitation factor. If in fact, every single person felt it was important to be compassionate and purposeful to the degree of living in such a way as stated above–then despite our human weaknesses–mutual ignorance and bad habits, we would at the very least have all taken on a way of life that, in itself, gives us the ability to discern what is decent, good, fair, wise and compassionate. And even far better, we would then be able to act on those qualities, which would certainly keep us from blowing up the planet.

As a matter of fact, it would be far more excellent than mere survival, it would usher in an immediate utopia, where we could live without harming each other. We would cooperate in our own personal manner and lifestyle towards a larger functional, healthy community and everyone would have opportunities to thrive, rather than just survive. Sounds fantastic! Doesn’t it? It is possible, however improbable.

2. Since not everyone is willing to be altruistic, what is the point of being altruistic anyway?:

As in the present moment, not everyone is willing to be altruistic–some people have no intention or desire, now or in the future, to be kind, wise, truthful, non-harmful or considerate for sake of good for all. As sadly as it is, it seems obvious there are many who enjoy doing the exact opposite. Apparently, not everyone wants to be a positive altruistic person. However, that doesn’t invalidate the powerful positive effect of those who do make the effort to be altruist. There are those who endeavor to be kind, compassionate, wise or at least just benevolent and non-harmful.

A good place to start is “first, do no harm.”

One person can transform the world around himself by the way he choses to think. Most of what we think is habitual and reactive, stemming from ingrained concepts that may have no bearing in truth. What we think can change if we want it to. And as we train our thoughts into positive alignment with higher view, our behavior will follow suit. It takes effort of course. When such a person tries to be a decent human being, it is always a good thing. The good actions one person does definitely affects those around him in a positive manner as well. That’s a guarantee. It’s cause and effect.

If we want to live in hell, we will choose to live in hell, whether we are aware that we have chosen to do so or not. And hell is living in a world–present tense–where there is no hope, no gratitude, no joy, no love, no mercy, no kindness, no depth of being, no wisdom, with only the hateful face of evil wherever we look, which includes when looking into the mirror. On the other hand, heaven is a place where one looks for truth, and God–the ultimate good, universal truth, the absolute, blissful, joyful “I Am”–in one’s own being, and in the face of everyone he meets. Heaven is a point of view. Hell is also a point of view. It takes work to get to a heavenly point of view, which is a by-product of the altruistic path. And hell really doesn’t take any work, except to deal with the shit castle we create for ourselves. So, yes–all good done with higher intention counts for something.

3. The subtleties of what it means to be altruistic–the razor’s edge:

Being altruist might not always be entirely selfless, because we always get something out of what we do in some fashion. In this manner when we do something good for the sake of others, there are little wheels turning in the back of our minds that can have a tiny bit of higher-minded self-interest spinning in the mix; or it can have a whole different agenda from that pure good. Often we do good, because we want to feel good about ourselves–and it’s obviously fine to feel good about ourselves.

As human beings it is essential to do things that feed the higher nature of who we are. Call it soul, or higher self, whatever, but we have to tend to deeper aspects than the material within our person or we will live a shallow meaningless life, devoid of anything real. We can do good because we want to live a more purposeful life and direct our energy toward things that matter. We can do good because it builds our self-esteem and gives us something to do that makes us happy. We can do good to help others when we know they really need help. And we can also do good to get something we want in the way of being manipulative. That’s not really altruistic.

A wise teacher taught me this about the difference in good deeds and the virtue of being altruistic, which is doing good for the sake of good itself. Doing good deeds comes with the reward of feeling good about what we just did in some manner. However, that is also a pit fall. When we do good deeds, we are expecting a positive return on some level–feeling warm and tingly, being seen as a good person, getting accolades, being appreciated and being thanked. Some enjoy a certain amount of prestige as a do-gooder. Well, let me say, we will not always achieve those expectations attached to the doing of good deeds. Someone might not thank us for doing something that we think is nice for them. The recipient of our idea of help may have a all together different view of what we just did to them. Someone might not be happy when we condescend to throw a crust of bread at them when they are starving. When we help someone by getting them into rehab, that person may curse the day we were born and hate us for the rest of our life. Where’s the fun in that? Our good intentions might be badly received. But if we know something is right, we do it anyway. Because we know on some level it is truly the wise and compassionate thing to do, we cannot go wrong. When that happens, often doing the right thing is difficult and turns the apple cart upside down, causing us personal pain.

We do what we do for all kinds of subtle reasons that are secret and buried in the subconscious mind. We manipulate others in all kinds of ways, for better and worse. So having an altruistic goal is to walk the razor’s edge in earnest. On one side we must do good for the sake of doing good, because it is the right thing to do. We do the “good we do” not because we are being watched, or fear that we will go to hell; nor do we do it because we are afraid we will be seen as a schmuck; or because we are terrified of getting in big trouble if we don’t do what we are supposed to do. If we are doing life right, we do not limit our good works to being rewarded for it at all–even with heaven, be it on earth or in the afterlife.

Here’s the twist, when we do good we are rewarded regardless. It cannot be helped, because this is the nature of the energy behind what we think, speak and do. All that infinite energy circles, ebbs and flows around in the vast expanse beyond all human conception in perfectly mysterious ways. It may not be that we get an immediate visible reward, but we have taken a positive step that puts us on a path of truth that realigns our vision with having true clarity and puts our heart in a state of relief. But just put that “reward” information out of your mind, or it screws everything up! We are rewarded for our goodness in a more etheric expansive manner, which is practical and vaguely ambiguous in the same breath. At the heart of the mystical, there is the very practical aspect of cause and effect. There is no guarantee that life is going to be charmed, easy or even pleasant  for us because we are intent upon doing good in this world to all beings. Yet with that said, life is usually not all that easy anyway, and being a negative jerk doesn’t help things at all. So we do good anyway. It becomes our habit. And at the core of our being, we find a freedom of living in integrity, honor, self-respect and love, of which we inevitably project before us wherever we go. And that is what we do get.

4. What is practical about altruism?:

The practicality of altruism is just this: if you make someone else’s life more bearable, you in turn have made your own life more bearable. Joy begets joy. Love begets love. Hate begets hate. Violence begets violence. So what do we want? Do we want to be right, to be the most powerful? Do we want revenge? Do we want be the loudest and best, at the top of the pack, despite having killed everything around us that brings joy? Is that what helps others? Does that help us? What about sacredness? If nothing is sacred, then that means I am not sacred. Sacredness is essential, regardless of religion. Life is precious. If it isn’t precious, how can we be precious? And we need to know, to be validated in some way within our own knowingness, of our innate preciousness. How we think about this is everything.

When you give of yourself sincerely to help another person or living creature, at some point you will find some joy within yourself. There is nothing like the beauty of living as a true human being who understands the power of kindness in all its simplicity. Being altruist is done to whatever capacity you may have in the moment.

For instance, a very basic practice in altruism is this: rather than driving up angrily, tailgating every car on the road because you are in a hurry, allow someone to merge. Traffic goes faster when we merge. When we do not let people over because we don’t want anyone to get ahead of us, we cause traffic jams in monotonous long gridlocked lines, and then end up ramming someone else’s bumper due to our impatience and road rage, making it worse on everyone else–including ourselves. Apply that same principle to life.

That’s just one little example of how being a kinder or at least more considerate person affects mundane existence. Here’s another. When you are in a store at the counter waiting to pay, hang up from your cell phone, look into the eyes of the person serving you and acknowledge them. That is actually a real live person who has value in front of you. Make them feel of value by paying attention to them and saying “Hello!” and “Thank You!” Try it. It’s liberating.

So then we go on to bigger endeavors of altruism, like saving a stray dog, making an effort to get to know your elderly neighbor, and even going as far as making sure they have food to eat if they are on a fixed income. Do random kindnesses, just for the hell of it. Why not? It’s not frivolous. Helping others is helping oneself. There is no way to find happiness in any other way. Happiness isn’t owning things.

Happiness is an interior quality of knowing your life matters and there is good within you that can and will flow over into everything around you.

There are always opportunities to help on the planet earth–never-ending opportunities. There are billions of ways to make life better for someone else within reach of everyone. Do not allow yourself to become embittered because you expect the same good to be done toward you. You might not have that experience at all. You might just have to accept that you are merely doing your part, and you might not get anything out of it at all but the experience. Again, good deeds are done for an agenda.

Just do good. Help others. And let that be enough. It’s a good use of your time and energy at the very least.

You don’t have to have any money to help others. Your time is valuable. Your kind words are valuable. Your smile is valuable. Encouragement is priceless. And if you do have money to spare, put it to work for making a better planet. Help someone get an education. Invest in your community. Build a safe natural beautiful park for children to play in. Pay someone’s hospital bills. Support a non-profit animal rescue or suicide prevention call center. There are tons of charitable causes that generously invest time and energy into creating a better world.

And as a business owner, businesses most certainly can be run ethically, by making quality products or offering positive relevant services, while still turning a profit–but it won’t be instant gratification where the person on the top gets rich on the backs of the poor. Ethical businesses usually consider long-term sustainability. We all have something of value to offer. We don’t always need to get paid for everything we do. But we also are required in our modern culture to pay our way. So yes, it’s okay to make money. This is really about how one views things. Having a positive view gives us a freedom that fear-based thinking only destroys. Money isn’t the goal. It’s how we live. Having work is important, whether we are paid for it or not. Put energy into goodness, if you want to have goodness in your life. Being a vapid ignorant society of non-thinking, frustrated, reactive miserably numb drone-like beings who are caught up in selfish delusion rather than searching for truth, isn’t necessary.

If you have a business, take care of your employees. Build integrity within yourself and others just by being who you are. Money cannot be the only objective in life. If a person believes having financial wealth is all that is important, then that person is not going to have fulfilling experience of life, despite the finery, fleeting glamour or delusion of superiority. But we know this. This is the other side to the concept of altruism.

When we clamp down to hold onto what we have or want, we loose it. We loose it in our minds and hearts first, then we loose it in the real world. We loose love, friendships, kindness, and purpose. We will be miserable. And that’s that. The human condition is complicated, because we make it complicated.

5. How do we begin being Altruist, when it seems unbelievably difficult to do?:

Again, all we can do is just do the best we can–to the best of our ability and capacity. Start with being kind. If you can’t be kind, learn how to find kindness within yourself, which usually has a lot to do with forgiving oneself. Be determined. Be willing to learn new concepts, skills and positive mental habits. Embrace education. No one is too old or too wise to learn something new. Keep an open mind and an open heart. We grow as people, as individuals. We just have to try, and we then keep trying when we fail. And we will fail. That’s why forgiveness is imperative. Try, fail, forgive, move on. Try again, succeed, forgive those who hate you for succeeding, move on. Working out our own inner issues that compete with the goal at hand–or repetitively sabotage our good intentions–is just part of the process. And this process is meaningful life. Start where you are and move forward. Set your eyes on the prize of being of service, of having value to all because all are of value. Have the realization that we are able to make a difference for good even in mundane situations. This is when life gets really interesting.

There are ways to make the shift to an altruistic lifestyle, if you don’t live that way already. Start with simple activities that you know are helpful, things that are already in your realm of comfort. Personally, I feel most people fail when they try to do everything at once. And that goes for anything new we might attempt to do. We all fail all the time, but we are certain to fail when we overload on new concepts beyond our expertise.

Let’s just say you are an introvert. Then as an introvert who is concerned about reaching out of oneself to another person, start with “Hello. Please. And Thank You.” When you get where you are okay with basic pleasantries, polite acknowledgments and amiabilities, then start in fearlessly on deeper conversations of “how can I help?” As they say, “Still waters run deep.” But communication is important. To be a peacemaker, it takes honing communication skills. This is just an example, mind you. Extraverts have to practice listening, rather than competing for attention all the time. We all have our things to work on, to polish up and make shiny. Be whatever light you are. Be brilliant, none-the-less!

Make a list of things you know are good for you to do, and that you feel that you should do or at least are interesting in doing. But rather than trying to do it all at once, pick out a few and practice them until they become natural qualities, extensions of your more compassionate self. Most certainly, the altruistic “thing” can and should begin at home. Make time to go for a walk to the park with your child once a week, if you don’t do it already. Sing a song every morning that gives you inspiration. Brush that ill-tempered cat until he purrs. Start checking on your elderly neighbor once a week, if he or she doesn’t mind and won’t greet you with a shotgun at the door. Pick a few good things and get really good at doing them. And when you have that as a new positive habit, find more things to do. Make it up yourself as you go along, but just try. If you already are altruistic, help others to be encouraged to be the same. Be careful of your words. Keep your words uplifting, rather than destructive. Inspire others. This is a worthy trend I’d actually like to see go viral.

I think I’ve said enough.

God bless, and good luck with all that wonderful good you are doing now and are about to do in the future.

And if no one else thanks you, I will.

“Thank You!”

“Thank you for being alive and pouring forth something worthwhile into existence. Because we all need that as much as we need clean air to breathe, and light to see by.”